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And I Want to Add to the Beauty
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8th-Apr-2008 02:28 pm - Not in my wildest dreams...
audrey, roman
An extra credit assignment in our psychology class is to write a paper about achieving our wildest dream.  This wildest dream of ours should be realistically attainable but perhaps very difficult to achieve.  At first I thought well, that consists of getting through graduate school and becoming a physical therapist.  But then I realized, that's not it.  That is my occupation goal, it is not my wildest dream.  "We live in a negative society" said my psych professor yesterday, "It is a society that is based on problems. My job as a psychologist is focused on other people's problems.  Can you think up of your wildest dream right away?  See, none of you can.  This negative society has conditioned us to limit ourselves to the point where we have forgotten how to dream!"
I find this very true because honestly, I cannot remember the last time I had an actual "dream" about what my future would look like. 
I started thinking last night, about where I would be in life if I were to follow my dreams.  I certainly would not be living in the United States.  I would be living in a little village in a country with great need, in a cottage (or even a hut!) just big enough for one, because in this dreamlife, I would not have a family of my own.  I would be fluent in the native language, and the people of that village would be my family.  I would be making a difference somehow in their life as much as they would be making a difference in mine.  I soon noticed that this lifestyle was alarmingly similar to that of Miss Rumphius which was one of my favorite children's books growing up.  It is about this woman whom as a little girl, sets out to do three things in her life: first, to travel the world; second, to find a place to live by the sea; and third, to find a way to make the world more beautiful.  And she does just that, carrying out the third task by planting lupines throughout her New England town.  I would have very much liked to have been Miss Rumphius.

Of course I'm going to keep my realistic goals.  But it was nice to take a break from life and dream again.
5th-Apr-2008 07:26 pm - As the Deer
audrey, roman
It should be no difficult task, but for some reason, I'm finding it hard to remind myself that my happiness and joy should be based on my relationship with God, with my Heavenly Father.  I was at my cousin Raquel's wedding a year ago, and when my Grandma Esther came to congratulate the bride and groom one last time before leaving, Raquel turned to her new husband and said "Well, this man makes me happy."  Just as I was starting to think "Aww how cute", my grandma piped up and said "That's wonderful you love him mija, but you both shouldn't base your happiness on each other, because man will let you down.  Your happiness should be from the fact that you share a personal relationship with Jesus, and it should be based on that mainly."


It amazes me how so easily we forget.
This song has been tugging at my heart strings lately, feel free to sing along if you know it:

As the dear panteth for the water,
So my soul longs after you.
You alone are my heart's desire,
And I long to worship you.

You alone are my strength, my shield;
To you alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire,
And I long to worship you.

I want you more than gold or silver,
Only you can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy-giver
And the apple of my eye.

You alone are my strength, my shield;
To you alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire,
And I long to worship you.

You're my friend and you are my brother,
Even though you are a King.
I love you more than any other
So much more than anything.

You alone are my strength, my shield;
To you alone may my spirit yield.
You alone are my heart's desire,
And I long to worship you.
 
10th-Dec-2007 11:01 am - My Winter Break To Do List
audrey, roman

Cook dinner for the family at least a few times.

Make daily trips to the gym.

Make daily trips to Borders.

Brush up on my calculus.

Fill out the Christmas cards.

Visit Mrs. Ruff and Señora (and maybe a few others).

Spend as much time with the little bro as possible.

Learn how to make tamales from Grandma Maria.

Have a long phone conversation with Genavieve, Chase, and Grandma Esther.


I really do hope that I stick to these plans because it seems that whenever I do make lists like these, I'm lucky if I get half of these tasks done.  I'm just determined not to let my parents see me being a couch potato.  I also hope that we actually have people over for Christmas.  The fact that none of my SoCal relatives can make it out there puts a huge damper on things.  I'm really saddened by that.  Although I still get to see all of my dad's side and all the presents that come with it on Christmas Eve.  Still, if we don't have people over other than us 4 on Christmas Day, I might just have to drown myself in one of our squeaky clean toilets in our annoyingly squeaky clean house!  The heater in my dorm is something that I will also miss, I will miss it dearly. It is much unlike the inside of our house, where I most likely will be wearing gloves to keep my hands warm, yes, in my own house.  But I can't wait to see all of you guys!  That will be excellent.

29th-Nov-2007 01:13 pm - Hello Lord
audrey, roman
"Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up " 
                                                                                  -- Sara Groves


mm mm, Sara Groves, sometimes I think that woman can just put my exact thoughts into words.


"I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering"
 

4th-Nov-2007 06:41 pm - Back on the Saddle Again
audrey, roman
Whoo, it's been a while since I've had a blog that I'd update religiously.  Oh boy, first posts are always the least exciting.  Haha, this is like freshman year all over again. Except more grown-up.
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